Have you ever felt you were in competition for the love and affection of another?  I would like you to try on an idea around this one….

If you are in “competition” for another person, it’s highly likely that you are objectifying that person.

Think about it….

The term competition itself suggest there is someone else to defeat, in order to gain what you want. You have to do what you need to do in order to “win”.

If you desire to be closer to someone, I highly recommend cultivating a Relationship with the other.

In competition for the attention of the other, one must strategize how to win. In a relationship, one is with the other and notices what it is like. From there, one can notice what one appreciates.

I have a hypothesis that even if you win the “competition”, you ultimately lose in the long run.  The “prize” of the relationship with the person was based on strategy, not who one genuinely is. Either the strategy has to continue, ultimately wearing the actual person down while they pretend to be something the actually are not, or they show their true colors, and the person they fought for feels lied to and distrustful.

Cultivating a relationship takes time and honesty. In an honest relationship, the journey is the destination.